As you know last week I announced the reincarnation of Buford. Who will be known simply as Ernie. But I got to thinking, perhaps I should outline a few rules of the road to set up Ernie’s pontifications, observations that just general quackery. So this post is to give everybody a chance to understand these rules of the road. That really is meant to say, if you don’t like these rules well let me know and I’ll make sure you get scrubbed off of the email list and you can kindly disregard any future communications with Ernie’s sig line. Lest I be accused of “lack of civility” or send any of you clutching your pearls to the fainting couch.
Rule number one: Ernie’s here to ask the big question “just why is it now that this elephant is in the room?” He won’t spend much time talking about is there an elephant or is there a room, but get to the heart of it “why”?
Rule number two: Ernie really isn’t either left or right politically but the straight ahead and quite willing to insult everybody. Stupid is as stupid does.
Rule number three: if satire and/or witty social commentary hurt your “fee fees” then you don’t want to be here. Go read the New York Times or the WaPo instead.
Rule number four: if for some reason Ernie uses a term that you’re not familiar with may sound slightly snarky your default option is always to consult the urbandictionary.com
Rule number five: if errors in grammar, punctuation, spelling or niceties annoy you don’t read Ernie’s stuff. There’s a lot of that which will be quite intentional. You’ll get my drift as we move on.
Rule number six (the last one thank God): questions that you want Ernie to ponder are always welcome. Bring it. If Ernie can’t figure it out how to dazzle you with his brilliance, then he’ll just baffle you with bull shit.
Oh, one last thing, in keeping with the fine tradition of one of our former pretzeldents( “Mr. shrubbery”) you will find Ernie’s writings are often full of mexed missages.
I will post Ernie’s first thoughts on the current state of affairs on the Fourth of “You Lie”. Sir William, take us out: